Remeber Those Days?

Gavin usually sleeps like this and I love it. How sweet and innocent! As I snuck in to his nursery to snap this picture, I stopped and just thought for a moment... "Remember when you were a little girl and you would sleep SO hard without a care in the world? No thoughts of money, relationships, death, illness, safety?" Isn't it funny that when you are little, all you want is to get big! Gosh, I wish time would slow down now... I love it that Gavin doesn't have any worries, sadness, or pain. I just want to protect him forever! What a sweet little precious blessing he is.

Let Me Out!

Well, I'm back in my rut of being un-motivated again! I have not left my house for probably... 4 days? I believe that some of it is because I know I am going back to work in just a mere 3 weeks and I'm trying to savor every last moment with Gavin... Laying around the house, wearing my robe or sweats all day, just doing NOTHING... Probably not too healthy, but who cares? Right? Or maybe not...

Well, I'm pretty sure Gavin is getting tired of being in the house all day too. Not only does he crawl around in circles just to see how fast he can go, but he constantly waits by the front door, looking out into the street screaming and making noises. In baby language he is probably saying "FREAKIN HECK, GET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" (See picture) We were supposed to go to a sushi lunch today with my mommy group, but Gavin woke up at 9:30, ate his solid foods, and by the time he had finished eating and I cleaned up the kitchen, it was 10! Ugh... SOOO, we stay home again today.

So, Krista, you may be obsessed with chocolate, but I am obsessed with staying home...Yikes

Make it Stop!

Day 3 of the flu, and still struggling. I have eaten a bowl of ramen noodles and a piece of toast today... That's it. And I'm still feeling terrible! What the heck!? Thank goodness Chris comes home tonight so I can have a little break tomorrow!

On a happy note, I got my Ergo! Whoo hoo!! I have been so unmotivated the past 3 days that I haven't even taken it out of the box yet... I got it on ebay and didn't get that great of a deal for it, but who cares. I wanted it so bad! Now I can go hiking with my mommy friends without destroying my shoulders and neck!

And then there's Mr. Man...Oh Mr. Gavin... You are so unique. The new craze? Vienna sausages... I know, I know... NASTY, but he LOVES them. He can't get enough!

And then there's the breastfeeding drama. I decided about a week and a half ago to stop/wean breastfeeding for various reasons. I was so SICK of using that damn pump every 3-4 hours! That was a big reason, but also, I'm going back to work part time in about 4 weeks and I just don't want to excuse myself from a professional setting to go and be "milked". I struggled and struggled with feeling selfish for a couple of weeks. I was feeling like I was doing this just for me and putting Gavin's health and well being in second place. I just couldn't get over this feeling! But, after many tears, and conversations with friends, family, and my hubby, I decided that I was DONE. seven and a half months is a pretty darn good job and I should be proud. So, we made the switch to formula, and Gavin is doing GREAT with it so that's a blessing. Oh, and as for the pump? I want to destroy it, but my better judgement is telling me I should save it for baby #2 some day.

So Sick

So, of course I get the flu when Chris is out of town for 4 days! Oh MAN, I woke up yesterday morning as he was packing and I was SO queasy... It continued throughout the day and last night was the WORST. I was up all night with throwing up, hot, then cold, shivering, then warm... Downed some Pepto Bismal which only made it worse...

So needless to say, today is a trying day. Gavin also seems to be in a "mood". Wants to be held and as soon as I put him down, he starts crying. If I leave the room, he screams while crawling in to follow me wherever I may have gone... This made me start to wonder how single parents do this 24 hours a day 7 days a week? What if I had been throwing up during the day? I guess you just DEAL with it and do what you have to do. It's not like you really have a choice, right?

So here's to hoping for no NASTY diapers today or I just might puke!

Victory!

The mirror is up! Yay! After quite the battle, we finally hung the mirror today... It took all week to convince him, but now, the fight is over. Chris is not too happy about this mirror, and feels he does not have a say so at all when it comes to decorating... My response? "Chris, I don't try to give you advice on how to fix a car, or cut plywood. Please don't give me advice on how to decorate!" He reluctantly agreed. I have to admit that a part of me feels a little bad that I just "bullied" my point to get my way, but come on now. If it was up to him we would have white walls and bean bag chairs! Literally!

On another note, today is Superbowl Sunday. We are going over to our friends house and hanging out! Should be a fun time and we are looking forward to it... Now if I could only get my butt moving and get cleaned up! Ha! Go Cards!

Snot

HA HA!! This is Gavin's new thing... He makes this hilarious face when he is trying to get bugers out of his nose!! Oh he makes me laugh so much!! What a funny little boy

The Mirror

Hmph.....That's all I have to say. Yesterday was a ROUGH day.

So I have been looking for a mirrror for my brown accent wall for many years. I FINALLY found the perfect mirror and of course, my husband, HATES IT. He refuses to hang it up which turns into a big argument. I have decorated our whole house and get tons of compliments on it, and EVERY SINGLE step of the way, he fought me on it. " Eww, why are you picking that color? That's a weird piece of furniture, why would you buy that? Ugh, where are you putting THAT?" ect ect... I have put up with this since we moved into our house... Yes, I even tolerated the 1960 cloth rolling chairs for 2 years in our kitchen that were his great grandparents chairs, just becuase I didnt want to fight that fight. (I eventually won, and now we have a very cute little kitchen table and chairs).

So anyways, here I have this awesome mirror that I LOVE, and Chris won't hang it.... What to do? Well, I will do what I always do, and fight the good fight unti I get my way! Ha! I will soon write another blog with the picture of the completed wall when I win...

SO THEN, my next piece of drama is the new PlayStation 3... It has become an object of OBSESSION with Chris and I'm SICK OF IT! The game of choice? Call of Duty. So not only is he glued to the game, but the sound of guns firing, grenades exploding, and people dying fills my home for hours on end. Oh, and to make it worse? He can play his brother, who lives in Washington, online at the same time... So, the obsession grows. This too, turned into a MASSIVE argument last night, which ended with me in tears about ready to destroy this stupid piece of equipment. But I refrained. Only by the grace of God did I not take a hammer to this "toy".

This was my day yesterday... Hopefully it brought a chuckle to your belly, cause it didnt make me too happy!

Happy

Today, I was thinking back to before I joined the mama's group I am in... I think I was struggling with a bit of post pardom sadness (depression makes it sound so serious). With not an ounce of family here, and friends that aren't parents, I felt the lonliest I have ever felt in my life. I remember sitting in our bedroom one sunny morning and saying to Chris, "I've gotta get out and meet some people. I feel so sad and lonely. I wish I had other mom friends." SOOOO, I went online and googled, "mom groups" and found, what I think, is the best group EVER! I feel so much better after a meetup group. Rejuvinated, energized, and pumped up! I enjoy ever time we get together.

Recently, a few of us have been motivating each other to exersize and get those last few baby pounds off and we did a 2 hour hike! It was SO FUN and the babes were happy the whole time! I think they enjoyed it more than we did!

Ahh, so long story short, I just wanted to post a little note saying how thankful I am for new friends... Friends that go through some of the same struggles that I may be going through, encourage each other, and can laugh together too! I dont know what I would have done if I didnt have these girls! I would be one sad little mama :)

I LOVE Craigs List!

So, Lately Gavin has been eating quite a bit and I've had to supplement a bit with formula. I have a ton of similac in my cupboards from the company sending me out "Promo" cans while I was pregnant, but he seems to HATE IT. Even when it's mixed with breast milk... My friend Krista gave me some of "Earth's Best" organic formula and he LOVES IT! It's like he doesnt even realize that there is formula mixed in with the breast milk! YAY! So anyways, I have decided that once I wean him I will start buying this for the few months he will still need milk. It's EXPENSIVE. I hop on Craigs List and found a woman who bought a case of this stuff and just wants to get rid of it for $5 a CAN! WOW!!!!! WHAT A GREAT FIND! Never been opened, and her son is now 13 months old and doesnt need it anymore! WHOO HOO!!! Great find!!

On another note, the fam went to try my friend Amy's church today. We loved it! It felt good to get into a church where we were very comfortable. We will continue attending and hopefully get Gavin dedicated in March! Yay! This was always very important to me... Getting Gavin dedicated and we have been putting it off until we found a church we really enjoyed and would consider becoming members of. I know it's a bit early to tell, but this may be the church!

It's been a great weekend. Go Cards! Whoo hoo!

Feeling Proud

OMG. I just wrote an entire blog and it got deleted! AAARRRGGGGGGHHH!!!

I will do my best to recreate what I already wrote....

Do you ever have those moments where you just feel proud? Well, I had 2 of those moments today! It makes everything worth it... Doesn't it?

Proud moment #1 - I was sitting on my kitchen chair, facing Gavin in his highchair and was about to go through the struggle of feeding him solids, (we do this once a day, every day). Why you may ask? Well, I want him to gain some weight! He's so small!!! Currently he is in the 5th percentile for weight and I just dont like that! he is healthy, yes, and maybe I'm being silly trying to force something that he just isn't quite ready for. Or maybe he is just an extremely picky eater already?? I dont know... Anyways, I was sitting there and to my delight, he gratefully at an entire can of pureed apples and then proceeded to eat an entire jar of sweet potatoes! YES!! I was so happy... However, this was not my proud moment. My proud moment came as I was cleaning up the kitchen... I looked over at Gavin and noticed him waving. Could it be that he has already learned how to wave at such a young age? (6 and a half months)... Nooooo, I thought... So, I grabbed my phone, turned on the camcorder and began rollin. I said " HI GAVIN!" while waving like an idiot, and sure enough, he stopped, looked up at me, and waved!! We did this for about one minute and I was so proud! Proud and excited! I sent it to EVERYONE... And of course I got a flush of text messages and phone calls saying that my child was a genious, this and that...ect... Ohh what a proud moment :)

Proud moment #2 - I have officially exercised 3 times this week. I was fighting mind and body today but decided to compromise and take a walk down to the local starbucks. The weather was beautiful, I broke a sweat, and Gavin enjoyed the walk/jog as well! YESSS!! I'm starting to feel good about changing my lifestyle around for the better. Eat better and smaller portions, and make it a point to MOVE at least 5 times a week... Maybe not the gym, but just get out and get movin!

Anyhow, this was my day today... It was a good day :)

New Sleep Schedule

Just transitioned Gavin to 2 naps a day and it's working out great! He sleeps longer during his naps and seems to be sleeping a bit better at night too! Whoo hoo!! He slept for almost 2 hours this morning and is taking his 2nd nap right now. It's so nice! Gives me some freedom in the evening to cook, have a glass of wine, and relax!

Thankful

So often I forget to count my blessings - so today I just wanted to write a short blog saying that I'm thankful... Thankful that my husband has a good job, that our son is healthy and happy, and that I have been able to stay home with him as long as I have.

On another note, Im attempting to get back into the gym and get serious about loosing my last 10 pounds. I have stopped making any effort to do this the past few months. Why? I'm not sure. I have felt an overwhelming feeling of complacency and I just dont feel motivated. I'd rather spend that one hour that I could be working out, playing with Gavin.... I realize I need to re-prioritize my thoughts and take an hour to myself at least 4 days a week. I know I will feel much better about myself when I can fit into all my old clothes again... And the eating... Time to stop indulging! Krista's latest blog entry with that delicious meal motivated me to also cook more fish. It's so good for you! Thanks Krista!

Anyhow, not much going on today. Going for a walk right now and then gonna do some healthy cooking today!

3am

Oh the joys of the late night/early morning wakings. I recently was venting to a close friend and she reminded me of how precious this time is and that I need to cherish it because pretty soon, Gavin won't need me nearly as much as he needs me now. I thought to myself, how true this statement is. But when I'm waking several times a night, it always seems to slip my mind... And this breastpump? If I NEVER hear that horrible suction noise again, it will be too soon. I'm ready to drop kick this thing and never look back!

Anyhow, tonight is a good one! I was able to sneak out for a bit once Chris got home and have sushi happy hour with some old friends from work. This just reminded me of how much my life has changed since Gavin was born... The stresses, gossip, and drama of the workplace used to consume a big portion of my life. It's now non-existant and I can't say I really miss it. Which leads my mind into thinking about March 11th... Oh March 11th. Am I strong enough to do this? To leave Gavin with people that are strangers to him? Yes, I trust these people, but trusting them with Gavin is like trusting them with my life and I just don't know if God has made me strong enough to face this battle... 3 people have volunteered to watch him, but I can't get over the feeling that they feel obligated because they are our friends... UGH. I want them to watch him because they love him and want to look after him. I hate thinking about March 11th because a huge lump in my throat always meets my thoughts and I immediatly tear up. What will that first day back be like? Is it this hard for other mom's who go back to work? And how quickly does it get easier?

Well, this will be it for now. Gavin has only woken up once so far tonight and I'm going back to my comfy bed!